On the Cheerful Side of Things

I see people around me who are genuinely cheerful. They don't say it with their mouths, their eyes tell that story. Cheerful people have a bright countenance. They hold themselves a little higher, they breathe sweeter air, and they lift up the people around them. I feel as if there's a definite line between me and cheerful...or maybe it's a wall. 

The cheerful side is where I want to be.I feel a draw toward it's inviting embrace, but...I have a weight that's too heavy. My heart feels too full of anger and frustration. Some days I feel downright bitter for the losses I've endured. I feel jealous of the people that aren't grateful for their blessings that I would gladly take off their hands. 

Then I hear a song that turns my world upside down and it comes in a moment of greatest need. My heart responds to music. I feel the Spirit of the God most powerfully when it speaks to me through melody. This particular song is the one God intended for me this week:         

 -Laura Story, "Blessings"

And, of course, there's my favorite hymn:

Father, cheer our souls tonight

Lift our burdens, make them light. 

Let thine all-pervading love 

Shine upon us from above.

Calm the surges of the soul;

Bid the dark waves backward roll. 

Let us all thy mercies feel

Thru the power thou dost reveal.

Bless our loved ones far away;

Grant them health and peace, we pray.

In their hearts let holy light

Beam to guide their steps aright.

Let implicit faith and trust

Help us know thy ways are just. 

May thine ever-tender love

    Lead our hearts to thee above.   

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I know the cheerful side is not an easy place to get to. I know it takes faith and trust in the Savior, and a lot of patience and prayer. It takes looking on the brighter side of things. For instance: "Yeah, my position at work is being downsized so I'll soon be unemployed, but now I get to spend an unexpected 3 weeks with my family in Utah!" or, "This month of trying failed, but now we get to try to make a baby for a whole 'nother month!" (No sarcasm here, I'm genuinely okay, even happy, about these 'setbacks'). And I get to constantly remind myself that a cheerful countenance doesn't happen overnight. I'm still greiving and am still allowed to have bad days. I just wake up the next morning with a prayer in my heart that today is not one of them and I can keep my chin up and practice getting to the cheerful side!

 

       

Little Blessings

So, I had just gotten home from visiting teaching [as women in our church, we visit eachother each month to share our faith and show support to one another = visiting teaching] and sent Evan off to play basketball like he does every wednesday. My puppies started getting excited at the back door and it made me nervous, so I went to lock it. To my surprise, five women were standing on my porch (at first it startled me, but I recognized them, so I recovered quickly). I let them in and they were some young women from the ward. They gave me a plate of cookies with a note:

They told me that they picked 8 women in the ward that exemplified each of the young women values: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. I about cried! These young women are so inspiring to me. They live in a town where members of our church are grossly outnumbered (which, being from Utah, I'm not used to). Members of the community don't know a lot about our church and some of the things they know are incorrect. But, these youth go to school, serve/work in the community, and uphold the standards of the church and live the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I'm definitely not writing this post to brag. This experience was a reminder to me that we can have a powerful influence on those around us when we're trying to live righteously. 

I'm only just starting to get back to my normal self after Kayden's death. It's been a long 7 months and I'm feeling better everyday. It would be easier to throw my hands up and wave the white flag; just be done trying and give up. But these girls gave me courage to keep going, to keep trying. I want the people around me to know that I believe in Jesus Christ. 

The following song reminds me that our Heavenly Father is in control; that His plan is in effect in every aspect of our lives:

 "What's mine is yours"- even my Scotlin and Kayden.